Impact of personality on EFT style

Healing yourself, loving the world

At the EFT Spring Gathering last year, the topic of core beliefs came up in several presentations and discussions. I found myself getting really annoyed at the idea of core beliefs.  I felt limited and pushed into a box and quite irritated.    And this was just listening to others talk – I wasn’t being told I had to use the concept.  I figured I had some hidden core belief that made me not like the idea of core beliefs and left it at that.  <chuckle>

But it’s been bothering me — how can I have such a strong bias against core beliefs as an approach to tapping when it works for others?

So flash forward from April to August.  I have been doing some work with personality types and energy flow (my latest find is Carol Tuttle’s Dressing Your Truth which builds on energy types.)  I was reminded of my work years ago with the DiSC personality assessment system.

Four flows of energy

Both systems teach that there are four types of energy or personalities.  We each have a unique combination of each but one of them will be dominant.  A very very simple explanation of the DiSC is:

  • The D is outward directed and feels more able to impact their environment so they take action easily.  They act on their environment.  This looks like task-oriented and quick moving.
  • The i is also outward directed also feeling more powerful than their environment but is more relationship based.  They can look like outgoing, gregarious, animated and fun.
  • The S is an inner-directed movement, focused on relationships.  They work within the existing environment.  This looks like a steadier, smoother, calmer energy with a connecting flow.
  • And the C is inner-directed movement, focused on tasks and structures, also working within the existing environment.  This looks like an energy of detail, correction, and logic.

Me + core belief = frustration

And yesterday all of a sudden I realized that my personality doesn’t lead me to look at core beliefs. If I were to think I had to identify the one core belief, I would end up asking too many questions and trying to fit everything into one answer.  It would become a task to be done rather than being in the flow.  My normal personality has a high degree of “D” and “i” but when I’m with a client I sink into a place of flow and intuition.  I listen to what is being said, I feel into the energetic system, and I feel or know where to move forward with tapping.   I am open to this amazing intuitive knowing that shows up as my client and I come together in a majestic healing space.  Core belief feels distracting and limiting to me because for me it says “focus on the task and forget your intuition”.

But somebody who has a more relationship-based connecting personality would not mind the details.  She would be able to see the thread running through all the stories that indeed might be called a “core belief”.

In a wonderful flash of understanding, I felt a deeper understanding of the impact of personality on EFT style.

Why does it matter?

  • I think it is quite helpful to understand our personalities within the context of a larger model.   Whether it’s Myers-Briggs (honestly not my favorite), the Enneagram (my favorite but one that requires some work and insight), DiSC (not a bad starting place), human design (rich with insights, can get lost in the details) or Carol Tuttle’s Energy Profiling system (perhaps the most accessible and intuitive),  knowing our perspective *and* seeing the wider array of perspectives others hold expands our effectiveness as practitioners.
  • As we understand our personality and styles, we can discern and develop tools and approaches to tapping work for us.
  • We also can notice which personality type is our shadow side.  If we are having trouble developing rapport with a client,  perhaps they sit in our shadow.
  • We also can celebrate in the vast array of skills and talents other practitioners have while acknowledging ours.

Ask Yourself

  • What approach do I use with a client to find what to tap on?
  • How does that fit with my personality?  Why do I like my approach?
  • If I only stay in my preferred personality style, what might I be overlooking or not paying enough attention to?
  • And finally, how do I adapt to clients with varying personality styles?

I can help

If you are interested in learning more about your way of being in the world and how it impacts your work and relationships, this is one of the areas of coaching I excel at.  For more information, take a look here.

Photo by Kamen Atanassov

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Deborah Donndelinger Integrated Healing

Deborah Donndelinger Integrated Healing

I'm writing from Maryland, but my heart goes out all over the world. I'm cheering you on as you tackle the hard stuff, embrace the easy, and show up to help others.

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