The stories we tell

Healing yourself, loving the world

Two truths and a lie

There’s an ice-breaker game called Two Truths and a Lie where each participant writes down three stories about herself, two true and one a fib, and the others try to guess which is which. It’s a fun exercise as an ice-breaker, but it points to something I find much more interesting: the stories we tell about ourselves reflect our identity and in turn shape our identity.

  • Our stories reflect our sense of self.
  • Our stories shape our sense of self.
  • Tapping changes how we see and tell our stories.

Our stories reflect our sense of self

Imagine that each of us has a library card catalog of stored stories and memories. These stories reflect how we see ourselves and how we see the world. We could easily search through this card catalog and find a story where we were embarrassed, let down, or shamed. Just as easily we can search through this card catalog and find stories of where we felt safe, seen, acknowledged, and lifted up.

When we are feeling better about ourselves, we find better-feeling stories. When we are feeling worse, we find worse-feeling stories.

Our stories shape our sense of self

Our stories and our interpretations also shape how we see ourselves.  You can see the cycle unfolding, with patterns and beliefs affecting each other.

Tapping changes our stories

One of the dramatic effects of tapping is that we can change our stories. Or rather, we can change the emotional intensity of our stories, and we change the interpretations of our stories.  These changes aren’t forced; they arrive organically as the tapping moves the energy.

  • We change the meaning of the story.
  • We change the intent behind people’s actions in our experience.
  • We change the blame within the story.
  • We have greater compassion for all the parts of the story.
  • We find our center in the story.

Who’s the subject of your story?

While researching for this blog post, I found this quote by Mehmet Murat ildan that was a bit startling. I realized how many of our stories are about something being done to us. What if we start telling stories where we are the one doing the creating and action?

To live is to write a story. If you are a strong person, your life story will mostly be written by you; if you are a weak person, mostly others will write your life story!

[Note: I don’t like the words strong and weak, but you get the idea behind the quote.]

When you think of the stories that define you:

  • Are they about you as the object, where others are doing things to you?
  • Are they about you as the subject, where you are doing things to others?

An invitation

This week we have access to some experiential throat energy with the 35th archetype being defined by the sun.  I invite you play with your stories, do some tapping on some old ones, and create anew!

Podcast

This week’s podcast continues the theme of tapping on our stories.

Photo by Johannes Plenio
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Deborah Donndelinger Integrated Healing

Deborah Donndelinger Integrated Healing

I'm writing from Maryland, but my heart goes out all over the world. I'm cheering you on as you tackle the hard stuff, embrace the easy, and show up to help others.

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