The jewel beneath our shame

Healing yourself, loving the world

One of the breakthrough insights I had during my daily tapping was around the role of the emotion of shame. This insight applies also to fear and anger (Enneagram enthusiasts will recognize these three emotions as corresponding to the heart, head, and body triads respectively.)

I never knew what to do with the feeling of shame. I didn’t know how to go past it or through it. Or into it or under it. My whole self-inventory list had a theme of shame and it was overwhelming at times. But I diligently worked item by item, and I had a breakthrough insight.

I experienced very clearly how shame is a defense mechanism that protects the vulnerable part of us – shame distracts us from having to feel a very deep grief and sense of loss.

Once I saw this, the path became clear – keep tapping! The depth of emotion that was under the shame truly surprised me. A very intense grief and loss. These tappings were some of the most cathartic of my tapping history.

So I invite you to ask yourself which of the core emotions is your defense mechanism: anger, fear, or shame? What areas in your life do you feel ashamed about? Are you willing to do some tapping on these areas?

I have some fantastic podcasts now available.

Photo by Luca Micheli

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Deborah Donndelinger

Deborah Donndelinger

I'm writing from Maryland, but my heart goes out all over the world. I'm cheering you on as you tackle the hard stuff, embrace the easy, and show up to help others.