Mistaken marriage, mistaken children?

Healing yourself, loving the world

Whether we are the adults getting divorced, the young children of the divorced parents, or even the adult children of divorced parents, divorce matters.

For the adults getting divorced, there are the usual feelings of guilt, relief, grief, betrayal all mixed up in one.  For the children, there is often a hidden feeling of not being wanted.  Even if the divorce was for the best, and the parents are attentive and supportive, there is often a left-over feeling of the marriage being a mistake.  And if the marriage was a mistake, then the children are a mistake – or at least, that’s how they feel.

It takes conscious effort to reinforce that the children are a product of love, even if the parents can’t stand each other.  The key to this is seeing the love that created the children, even if the relationship is over.   Sometimes this shift can happen with a few rounds of tapping.  Sometimes there are more hidden dynamics interfering with the flow of love.  This tapping script below will help get you started.

This tapping is for the parents.

Set-Up Phrase

Even though I can’t stand my ex, I accept how I feel.

Even though I don’t want to look at my ex, I accept how I feel.

Even though when I look at my children, I sometimes see my ex, I accept the conflict that I feel of love and disgust.

The Points

Eyebrow:  My children are part me and part my ex.

Side of the Eye:  How can I love them 100% when they are only 50% me.

Under the Eye: I’m trying really hard but there’s this internal conflict.

Nose: I can’t stand my ex.

Chin: Sometime I can’t stand my kids!

Collarbone:  I feel so guilty.

Under the arm: I am doing the best I can.

Head:  And it doesn’t feel like enough!

Switching to the positive when you are ready …

Eyebrow:  What if I can see the love we had together?

Side of the Eye:  When I look at my children, I see the love we had together.

Under the Eye:  When I look at my children, I see the love we had together.

Nose: When I look at my children, I see the love we had together.

Chin: When I look at my children, I see the love we had together.

Collarbone: When I look at my children, I see the love we had together.

Under the arm: When I look at my children, I see the love we had together.

Head:  The marriage might be over, but the beautiful creation of that marriage still lives.

If you enjoyed this, check out my book called Family Energetics.

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Deborah Donndelinger

Deborah Donndelinger

I'm writing from Maryland, but my heart goes out all over the world. I'm cheering you on as you tackle the hard stuff, embrace the easy, and show up to help others.

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