42-day juice fast #2

Healing yourself, loving the world

This is the second of several posts on my recent experience juice fasting and what led up to it.  Last post I talked a little bit about my history with food and what had happened in my 20’s, 30’s and into my 40’s.  I mentioned that in my 30’s and 40’s I had a multi-year period of unexplained weight gain.

Paving the way, the role of tapping and patience

While I was in this multi-year period of unexplained weight gain, I tried many things to get to the root cause on a physical, emotional and spiritual level.  I did lots of tapping, by myself, in classes, and many sessions with skilled practitioners. I studied Abraham Hicks and worked with Law Of Attraction practitioners. I did various detox protocols and different body-type-based diets. I did different exercise routines. I took a huge variety of supplements. I explored auric, karmic and family matrix issues. I worked with a skilled homeopath for several years.  I went to a holistic dentist and had my mercury fillings changed out and hidden cavitations fixed. I embarked on several spiritual adventures and openings. I discovered, studied, and applied human design. I cleared every single thing I could.

But nothing, I kept gaining weight. It was the ultimate act of surrender to realize that my body had a path that I didn’t understand.

During this difficult time, I tried to forget for a while that I cared about my appearance and weight.  I knew that spiritual peace was more important and tried to believe that I didn’t need physical beauty. I almost gave up and resigned myself to living like this. But part of me realized that I needed to claim my dream and my desire and just be patient for what was the next step.

At some point, I realized it was more than about weight and ended up being treated, and treating myself, for lyme disease.  That was the first step that felt like progress.

M. Scott Peck says, “All things are overdetermined. For any single thing of importance there are multiple reasons’.

Some people would look at everything I tried and say it was a waste of time and money. Others would ask me what helped and what didn’t.  I don’t know.  All I know is that I learned a few things:

  • Abraham Hicks description of our rockets of desire and vibrational escrow was immensely helpful.
  • The concept of following the relief was very helpful.  (See my earlier post on light or dark: a tale of intuition).
  • Realizing that my body had an innate wisdom and I hadn’t been listening to it was helpful.
  • Knowing there is a larger energy at play greater than me was helpful. (More about that later.)
  • Knowing that one day I’d get back to my healthier state was helpful. I just didn’t know when.

So no matter where you are in your quest for something important, keep an eye on what you want, let go of how to get there, know that sometimes the timing is different than what you’d hope for, and surrender to grace – to the infinite wisdom that we have access to in our bodies, in our hearts, and through our souls.  It sounds corny and I wish I could describe how I shifted over time, but I can’t. It truly was an act of grace.

Photo by Brooke Lark
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Deborah Donndelinger

Deborah Donndelinger

I'm writing from Maryland, but my heart goes out all over the world. I'm cheering you on as you tackle the hard stuff, embrace the easy, and show up to help others.

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