FAQs on surrogate tapping

Healing yourself, loving the world

Can I use EFT for someone else?

Absolutely. The way I do it is to center myself, set the intention of tapping for the other person, and then tap on myself, while speaking in first person for that person. I am often surprised at what I discover. For me, there is a feeling of grace and awe when doing it this way and I treat this process with great love and care.

I always advise my clients to tap on their own stuff first before doing surrogate tapping for someone else.

Do we need permission to surrogate tap for another person?

It’s interesting the different views on surrogate tapping. It really does seem to be a personal decision ….

I have received surrogate tapping as well as offered it. I take it on a case by case basis and normally am quite clear about whether I have permission to surrogate tap or not. I personally don’t think we can interfere with someone else’s path …

I often use the statement given to me by Kathleen Rick (a wonderful practitioner who’s my coach.)

Even though I’m going through this, I embrace my highest good and the healing power of love.

This to me implies no attachment to outcome. When a family member was seriously ill, we used this phrase for tapping for her. While we might have personally wanted her to get well, this phrase gave us the ability to tap (and feel like we were doing something!) but also respect her path.

I do feel strongly that it’s important to clear our own reactions to things before surrogate tapping. When I work with parents who want to work on their children, we tap on the parent’s reactions and sometimes that’s enough. After clearing the parent, THEN I sense whether it’s okay to surrogate tap for the child. Sometimes it’s yes and sometimes it’s no.

Do I have to know how to muscle test in order to surrogate tap?

You don’t need to know how to muscle test to do surrogate tapping. I used to be an avid muscle tester for myself and other and now rarely use it, but that is personal preference.

What would surrogate tapping look like?

Here’s an example of surrogate tapping for a child wetting the bed. The mother and practitioner would say and tap on this wording.

So examples for the set-up might be:

Even though I wet the bed and it feels good to wet the bed but my mom doesn’t like it, I am still an awesome kid.

Even though I am not ready to stop wetting the bed, I am still an awesome kid.

Even though only babies wet the bed and I’m not a baby anymore but I still want to be a baby, I am still an awesome kid.

Some example phrases for tapping the points might be:

I wet the bed and no one can stop me.
It feels good to wet the bed.
I don’t want to get up during the night.
My body isn’t ready to stop wetting during the night.
Maybe it is.
My body is in perfect synch.
My body works perfectly
My body has a perfect elimination system

It’s very interesting what information you can access doing this. Remember to say the phrase out-loud, with animation, exaggerate, have fun and see what comes up.

Photo by Hans-Peter Gauster
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Deborah Donndelinger

Deborah Donndelinger

I'm writing from Maryland, but my heart goes out all over the world. I'm cheering you on as you tackle the hard stuff, embrace the easy, and show up to help others.

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